In this post, Gifford Volunteer Chaplain Kathy Rohloff shares her thoughts on loneliness and building connection. Kathy and all of our volunteer chaplains offer a nonsectarian presence. If you need someone to listen, and hear you with compassion, you can reach them by calling the Rev. Tim Eberhardt at 802-728-2107.
By Kathy Rohloff
There is no getting around the fact that in a society where news and entertainment is just a click away, we are awakening to the truth that people are desperately lonely.
Loneliness as a noun is defined as a sadness because one has no friends or company.
The desire is for friends who are not just a number on Instagram or Facebook, but real people of flesh and blood who care and are available when there is a need.
During an interesting discussion among our volunteer chaplains, we shared times that we have experienced loneliness.
There were the expected responses, such as due to the loss of a spouse, but there were other losses shared: homesickness and feeling out of place in a new home; a lack of community; a barrier because of physical or mental illness; an emptiness due to an absence of purpose and meaning in life; or the loss of identity in a crowd, and being unknown.
Unless we are a product of a multiple birth, we are all born alone and it is a certainty that we die alone.
But for however many years we live in between, we long for and need others. An introvert may need a smaller number of friends and less time spent with them; an extrovert may revel in crowds and lively interaction. No matter the difference in volume, the need for others is still there.
The key word is connection: a relationship in which a person, thing, or idea is linked with something else. Connection is not a solo endeavor; it needs another.
We are all here for a purpose and that purpose involves other people. The best way to involve others is to find a need and offer a service.
Start immediately. Start small.
At home: share in the chores, hug often, reminisce, clean up after the pet, and always kiss the cook.
When out and about: return a grocery cart for someone, thank the cashier, greet others while walking, offer someone a ride.
Volunteer at a food shelf. Weed a community garden. Join a library and take part in the activities.
Host a picnic and include games and refreshments. Gather for Scrabble, UNO marathons, Dungeons & Dragons.
When we reach out to others, we discover that being with others actually fills that place that longs for community and belonging. We reconnect with old friends and make new ones. That connecting gives our lives purpose and meaning, and instead of differences dividing us, we discover how much we have in common. In the process, loneliness fades within us and others.
###
