By Jenny Davis, Gifford Birthing Center Manager
Jenny Davis BSN, RN has been a strong member of the Gifford Birthing Center team as a staff nurse for more than 17 years. She was recently promoted to the position of Nurse Manager in the Birthing Center. Jenny graduated with her Bachelors of Science in Nursing from the University of Colorado Health Sciences and is a Certified Lactation Consultant.
Becoming a new parent is a learning experience. There will be ups and downs as you navigate this process. Your newborn is relying completely on you and your partner for all of its needs. At times, that responsibility may be a bit overwhelming, so it’s important you take the time to breathe and relax. Here are some tips that can help get you through the first months of parenthood.
Constant Crying
A crying newborn is unfortunately inevitable. A normal newborn may cry up to 2 or more hours in a 24-hour period. At some point, you’ll become frustrated with the baby’s crying, but it’s how you handle the frustration that’s important for you, your partner and the baby. When you start to feel that frustration, it’s time to put your baby down in a safe place, walk away and take a break. When you feel less frustrated, you can go back to check if the baby is still upset.
Here are some things you can do to try and soothe your crying infant:
- Feed your baby even if they just ate.
- Change the baby’s diaper.
- Make sure the baby is warm enough (but not too warm).
- Give the baby a lukewarm bath.
- Make eye contact, smile and kiss your baby. It will distract and lessen the tension.
- Sing or hum softly.
- Perform “kangaroo care” by holding your baby in an upright position, skin-to-skin on you or your partner’s chest.
- If the weather is decent, take your baby outside for a walk.
- Try to decrease stimulation by holding your baby quietly in a darkened room.
Remember, although you will feel sleep deprived during this journey, be gentle to yourself and grab all the sleep you can.
Parenting with your Partner
Partners want to help and be close to the baby as well. Many partners would like to give the occasional feeding. If possible, it’s best to avoid using bottles for the first 2-4 weeks. There are many other ways for your partner to participate and help:
- Burping and settling the baby
- Changing diapers
- Bringing the baby to mom for nursing
- Bringing mom a snack or drink when she starts to nurse
Regardless of the ways your partner helps with the baby, be aware of “gatekeeping.” This is a term for the normal competitive feelings that are part of caring for a child. There can be nonconscious criticism that causes tension. This is something you should be prepared for, so remember to value each other’s efforts, know that you each care deeply and are sensitive to one another. Being a strong team is good for the parent and the baby.
Help from Family and Friends
You may also get opinions from family and friends, but remember this is your baby. Together with your partner and pediatrician, you will establish what’s right for you and your new child. If family and friends want to visit, accept offers of assistance. It would be helpful if they came with food or offered to do housework or run errands. Ask anyone who is ill to wait until they’re feeling well and no longer contagious before they visit. A newborn baby’s immune system is not fully developed so you should ask visitors to wash their hands before holding your baby. Also, remember your baby may become overstimulated and tired if too many people are around.
The Post-Partum Period
Talking with your partner or friends and family who have children is one way you can manage the transition that comes with the post-partum period. You will experience many changes in your body, emotions, self-image, relationships and lifestyle in the months following the birth of your newborn. You may feel stressed when your physical and emotional strength is tested, causing you to feel insecure, out of control and unsure of your ability to cope. Know that you will not feel this way forever and that having a baby provides new parents with the opportunity for growth as individuals and couples.
Some other suggestions for dealing with the post-partum period:
- Get plenty of rest and sleep.
- Be patient.
- Accept help from family, friends and community resources.
- Keep your life simple for the first few weeks.
- Attend a mothers’ group.
- Set aside a few minutes for yourself every day.
- Have a sense of humor and don’t be afraid to share your feelings.
Contact your provider if you have any of these symptoms which may be a sign of postpartum depression or anxiety:
- Sadness, anger or depression that never seems to go away.
- Your feelings are affecting the way you interact with your baby and family.
- You feel out of control and are unable to cope with daily events.
- Unable to sleep when you’re tired or if you sleep most of the time even when your baby is awake.
- Feeling of loneliness.
- Lack of appetite.
- As weeks go by, you have no warm, “loving” feelings toward your baby.
- You are afraid of harming yourself and/or your baby.
None of these symptoms mean you’re a “bad mother” or that you are losing your mind. Instead, they indicate that you may need help. A good online resource for postpartum depression support is postpartum.net.
No matter the issue, our staff at the Gifford Birthing Center is here to help. We are available 24/7 at (802) 728-2257. Every issue is important, especially if it is causing you concern or worry. We also can provide other helpful tips including the proper techniques for breastfeeding your newborn.
